Baldrick: Well, not very well — at the last moment, the baby playing Jesus died. 43 mins. Bring forth the gift with which you honour me. Baldrick: [removes turkey from his coat, puts it on table] Well, at least we’ve still got our turkey! What’s happened? Absolutely not! Nursie: Pity about this, Tinkywink. Pigmot: Plus, Commander, did you vanquish the Nibblepibblies? With Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Miranda Richardson, Stephen Fry. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Long-time readers know what a big fan I am of Rowan Atkinson’s work – especially his Blackadder programs. Baldrick: …and I’ve nearly finished the Christmas cards. Baldrick: Well, if I don’t hang my sock out, how will Santa fill it? Edmund: Well, so much for that. Albert: Ah, that is good, because we have a wunderbar secret! Delicious. [Forty minutes later, in the front room, Baldrick stands by the door as Ebenezer finally comes downstairs, dressed. 10 questions, rated Tough. We used to use black-and-white line drawings, but the visions are more effective. Permalink tightrope78 UTV Newsline 15 November 2020 11:27am Ebeneezer: I’ve made you… [takes his hand out] …a fist. What news of the foul Malmydons? Summary Ebeneezer Blackadder is the Victorian proprietor of a “moustache shop”, is the nicest man in England. [removing the earmuffs] My, what a jolly young girl. Dec 16, 2020 - "I have a cunning plan.". With Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Miranda Richardson, Stephen Fry. Edmund: No, Sir. Edmund: Yes, well, you certainly will get it if you mess this up. Ebeneezer: [from the back room] Ah, Beadle! [takes one], Ebeneezer: Well, I’ve got all the presents…. [he raises the object; it fires a ray at the husbands, who are dematerialised; Asphyxia looks around, shocked] And now, Your Majesty, I must respectfully insist that you hand over to me the supreme command of the universe, sew a button on my spare uniform, and marry me this afternoon. Baldrick, behind the orphans, jumps up and down trying to see. How many of these Blackadder Specials have you seen? Sorry; I got a bit confused and dropped a bomb on our own lot. [lifts the portrait] Door. Baldrick: [salutes] Wilco, Skipper! TBH if it was the 4th series I'd probably watch it but don't remember the earlier ones being that great. Blackadder: Well, they’re dead, if that’s what you mean. Ebeneezer: Who, my dear, is the huge halibut in the trousers? [to Blackadder] What is it, Commander? To many, ... ‘Dash and Lily’ is the genuine cheer you need in 2020, even if you hate Christmas. Edmund: Excellent, excellent, Baldrick! Of course, with >your< ancestors, it would have to be the full one-hour-ten vision with a break and ice cream. Really, woman — when you’re busy ruling India, you don’t tell me what >you< are doing… So why should I tell you what >I< am doing when I am busy wrapping up this cushion for your surprise Christmas present? Still, what a lovely thought it is: at this very moment, all over the country, from the highest to the lowest, through those charming plump folks somewhere in the middle, everyone is enjoying Christmas. Blackadder’s Christmas Carol – 1988 The second of the one off specials the series produced sees Blackadder in the story of Scrooge (A Christmas Carol) with a twist. Cheery-bye! Melchett will undoubtedly do the opposite of what I tell him, go and get an enormous present, give it to the Queen, and then [runs his finger across his neck and makes a quacky noise]. [lifts the portrait and prepares to leave]. Edmund: [obviously] I wonder who that could be? Charles Dickens' classic tale of kindness, truth, and virtue is completely ruined by having a member of the Blackadder family involved. See, we hadn’t been able to get any real sheep, so we had to stick some wool–. Ebeneezer: [to Ralph] As for you: Are you sure that you can keep my God-daughter in the manner to which she is accustomed? Ebenezer Blackadder is a decent, kind, generous human being - until he gets a glimpse of his loathsome ancestors. Victoria: [charmed] My dear little hobgoblin… Here is our Royal Seal. Christmas Eve, 1850. Victoria: Sir! Baldrick: [following Ebenezer] Well, I was a bit rushed. [motions at Baldrick] I’ll just get rid of the servant, shall I? Ebeneezer: Well, there’s some truth there. Oh, this is the stuff, eh? It is Christmas Eve 1850, and the kindly Ebenezer Blackadder spends the festive season being taken advantage of by his relatives, his neighbours and even Queen Victoria. This high infant-mortality rate is a real devil when it comes to staging quality children’s theatre. Edmund: Ah, there. Albert: Hah! [he heads to the front, shop room] I dropped in on Mr Thicktwistle’s Garden Emporium, and, I think you’ll agree, got quite a bargain [he opens the front door and steps out to fetch something] on this special Christmas Twig. ], Ebeneezer: Oh, well, what luck! Ebeneezer: [making sure his earmuffs remain in place] Yes, jolly good. Plot of Blackadder’s Christmas Carol. Nursie: …and wondering if your father’s wife would last until Boxing Day without having her head cut off. Baldrick: But… [Ebenezer moves him aside and grabs the door] Mr Blackadder– [Ebenezer opens the door wide, into Baldrick’s face, then slams the door shut], Albert: I flatter myself; we are rather special guests, sir…. Seasonal comedy special. Surely they are showing the 6 episodes of Blackadder 2 just to fill a gap in the 6 weeks to Christmas? Edmund: I suppose it does. Christmas Eve, 1850. [spooky noises start up again] It come through the wall, it said its piece, and then it sodded off. Edmund: Certainly, Sir. They are just outside the throne room.]. Baldrick: [having just got back on his feet] Yeah — she’s not safe, Sir. Ebeneezer: Ah, how right you are, Baldrick. Ebeneezer: Don’t be ludicrous, Baldrick — what would the Queen be doing here? Here: seventeen pounds, then. 4. Thanks for all the prezzies…. Ebeneezer: Yes… [going to hang up his coat and scarf] I fear, Mr Baldrick, that the only way you’re likely to get a big wet kiss at Christmas — or, indeed, any other time — is to make a pass at a water closet. Victoria: Oh, darling Bobo, don’t worry. Ebeneezer: Ah, Mrs Scratchit! BLACKADDER’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (1988) – My 11th Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues here at Balladeer’s Blog! ]: What is it? A triumph! Ebeneezer: Ah, well, we’d love to oblige, but I’m afraid we haven’t anything to give. /* BRIT */ /* BOX */ Stream the biggest box of British boxsets. Baldrick: Sorry, Mr B — I was just showing a sweet old granny to the door. Prince: Ah, excellent! Ebeneezer: Oh, don’t worry about it, my dear fellow. Beadle: Thank you very much, sir. I write this website as a hobby in my spare time. Any last requests, Blackadder, before I chop your block off and put it on top of the crimble tree? Residents will not be allowed to leave their hometowns on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day 10 questions, rated Tough. Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party, Miranda Richardson – Blackadder Appearances and Roles, Rik Mayall Blackadder – All his appearances including the specials, The 10 Best Blackadder Episodes | Blackadder Quotes, Blackadder – 5 of the most romantic moments. Shall I fling her from your door, Sir, saying that there is no room in our Christmas for a sad, virtuous, silver-haired, old, elderly angel like her? Blackadder Quiz, 15 questions with answers. Prince: Ah, now, this is more like it. Greetings to you on this merry Yuletide Eve. Are you as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University? Edmund: Good morning, Your Majesty. Baldrick: [closes the door once more] Mr B… Where’s the milk of human kindness? We have never been so insulted in our entire lives! Weren’t the children upset? Jan 6, 2020 - Blackadder's Christmas Carol is now a firm Christmas TV viewing favourite with UK and worldwide audiences. Here’s some of the best scenes from the Blackadder special. Ebeneezer: Mrs Scratchit, I suspect that to be a lie of sorts…. — Christmas is a time for miracles, so, maybe, if we screw up our eyes really tight and pray to the big pink pixie in the sky, someone will come and reward us… come on! Well, this is a nice change from all those skinflints. All I can say is that it’s Christmas as usual, except, sadly, we’ve managed to polish off all our nuts before the big day… [he and the orphans all lean toward the bowl of nuts. We have come here on a mission to reward the virtuous this Christmas Eve. Find out when Blackadder's Christmas Carol is on TV. We have come to sing merrily and to make you a gift of a small pudding. Ebeneezer: Well, indeed, indeed… and what of your little orphan charges? Change ), Taste Of States – BEYOND THE FOOD SPECIAL – Mountain Dew Body Wash, The Travel Book At Christmas – Great Christmas Experiences, Follow Welcome to The Phoenix Remix on WordPress.com, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB1HF2_CRNY, The Single Sessions - NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS - Snowfall Of December, DSM featuring Ben Davidson, Forgotten Pop at Christmas! [Scene changes to a room in Buckingham Palace. The bedchambers of Buckingham Palace must be copiously supplied with blindfolds. I’ve I were to tell you that we’re going to give him an enormous fortune for being so generous, then it would not longer be a secret — Damn… I’m so stupid! Spirit: [picks up bottle] Oh, nothing but the best at this house, eh? Pig wiggywiggywiggywiggywiggywiggywoo!”, Ebeneezer: [takes the pudding] Thank you. ( Log Out / Queen Asphyxia XIX sits in her throne area as her three husbands — Lord Frondo, Prince Pigmot and Bernard — have just materialised. Eventually, Ebenezer, rather unfazed, speaks to the man (`Spirit’). There’s a limit to how long the smell of roasting chestnuts can blot out the aroma of Baldrick’s trousers. Watch: Blackadder’s Christmas Carol on BritBox. Baldrick: [from outside the room] Mr Blackadder! CHRISTMAS 2020 is not long away and people can hardly wait for the year to be at an end. Elizabeth: I ought to block up the chimneys, burn all the crackers, and kill anyone I see carrying a present. Millicent: [shocked] Oh, Mr Blackadder! Who could that be on this cold night? Mr Baldrick, fetch the turkey! He is lying in bed, and is woken by someone saying a spooky “Woo!” The door to the room falls in, as steam and green light comes through. Even if you think bringing Blackadder back is a good idea (even after the perfect, heart-wrenching ending of First World War satire Blackadder Goes Forth), that treatment won’t work. The Black Adder is the worst of the four series although it's not terrible. Ebeneezer: [holding the money that was in the wallet] Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out, and buy a turkey so large you’d think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus. "Blackadder's Christmas Carol", broadcast in the same year, is easily my favourite of the bonus episodes. Baldrick: Don’t you worry, Mr B — I’m hanging my sock up so Santa will come down the chimney. Tell you what, Blackadder: that’s so brilliant, I’ll execute Melchett instead! Goodnight, Mr Baldrick. Millicent: This is Ralph — he’s my fiance. The rewards of virtue are infinitely more attractive! Blackadder Christmas Special. That’s it. Baldrick is pouring a drink. Blackadder: Majesties, I give you this much greeting [he puts his hand to his forehead and lets it drop straight back down]. [bows and closes the door]. Taking the traditional Dickens story, and giving it a Blackadder twist, the moral of Christmas still comes through. When then does the future hold? Is that it? Elizabeth: Right! Blackadder's Christmas Carol. Blackadder's Christmas Carol. Millicent: I’m sorry I can’t stop. Edmund: Yes, another great Christmas tradition: explaining the rules eight times to the Thicky Twins. Absolutely not! Baldrick: Yeah — pity she nicked all the presents. Christmas 2020 supermarket opening times for Sunderland Sainsbury's, Tesco, ASDA, Morrisons, ALDI, Lidl and Co-op Food 4 Chanel and family help Christmas be a merry one for heart-op children like her Narrator: In the reign of good Queen Vic, there stood, in Dumpling Lane in old London towne, the Moustache Shoppe of one Ebeneezer Blackadder — the kindest and loveliest man in all England. I trust that Christmas brings you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp. Baldrick: [confused] What, Mr Blackadder lives here? I don’t think so, Blackadder — not in The Bible. Ebeneezer: However, if you want something for lunch, take this. There was another repeat run of all the Blackadder series in the summer of 1990, on Sunday nights on BBC1. Related quizzes can be found here: Blackadder Quizzes There are 134 questions on this topic. Spirit: Erm… Heavens! Edmund: Oh, you’re very generous, Sir. Kind of! You’ve changed from the nicest man in England into the…the horridest man in the world! Boy: A penny for Christmas cheer, sucker — I mean sir? ... 2020 Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 7 2020 Modern Family, Season 10 2019 Modern Family, Season 8 2017 Motherland, Season 2 2019 Come Fly With Me, Series 1 2010 More ways to shop: visit an Apple Store, call 0800 048 0408 or find a retailer. Well, that’s not bad, I suppose. Ebeneezer: [looks at his penny, knowing it’s all he has] Erm, well…, Ebeneezer: Well, certainly! Ebeneezer: [rushing round the counter] …oh, but, but it’s Christmas Eve, so here: take ten pounds. They’re looking forward to coming tomorrow, perhaps bringing a little surprise for you…, Ebeneezer: Oh, surely not another totally unexpected rendition of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Mr Blackadder’…, Beadle: Not for me to say, sir. Also coming through is a large bearded man holding his hands out, wiggling his fingers spookily, saying the “Woo!” He steps in and laughs deeply, and begins to thrust his arms about, then does more, quicker, “Woo!” noises, getting sillier. [goes over to Ebenezer] And — who knows? Welcome, lads! Language May Offend . In fact he is everything Scrooge was by the end of […] Elizabeth: Oh, that’s fab!!! Don’t you have any other socks? Ebeneezer: Oh, thank goodness. Ma’am! Prince: Take all you want, Granny! [takes it, looks at all the money inside], Ebeneezer: Congratulations. He’s sickeningly good Blackadder! There weren’t any more children, so we had to settle for a dog instead. Edmund: Oh, it’s perfectly all right — it’s not your fault. Damn…. We’ve gathered up some Christmas period dramas airing on television, and streaming on your favorite channels, this season in the US. Elizabeth: No — I hate it! Frondo: …and the Sheepsqueezers of Splatican Five? You have found Georgy-Porgy, your handsome prince! Hell, I’m even an enormous fan of his more serious work in Full … Edmund: [who has moved to the door] Why, Sir! He and Baldrick have just finished setting things on the table.]. Blackadder: For God’s sake, Baldrick — if you’re going to wear that ridiculous jockstrap, at least keep your legs together. Pigmot is to the right of Asphyxia, and Frondo is in front of Pigmot. Baldrick: Nah, they loved it. Ebeneezer: Mrs Scratchit, Tiny Tom is fifteen stone and he’s built like a brick privy! 44 mins Available for 10 months Change location : London London Change language : English English Christmas TV guide and listings 2020: What’s on and when – Series, films and specials on over the Christmas period Must-watch films, dramas, comedy and kids shows on TV this Xmas season on BBC, ITV, Channel 4, NOW TV, Sky Cinema, Netflix, Prime Video and BritBox. Beadle: [to the shoving orphans, who all are trying to fit into the room] Get back! The only person in the Kingdom who looks dafter than her is that stupid Frankfurter of a husband [Albert covers his own ears]. CHRISTMAS 2020 is not long away and people can hardly wait for the year to be at an end. Ebeneezer: [with a slight grin] Good lord! Something of a triumph, I think — you must be the first person ever to spell ‘Christmas’ without getting any of the letters right at all. [looks at Ralph] …and she seems to have brought the fish course with her. Oh well — another year without profit! [stands, puts an arm around Ebenezer] Picture it: Quiet evenings in your hovel alone; a Bible; your own turnip! Oh, ah! Christmas is a time for tricks and japes and larks of all kinds. Edmund: Well, it is a tale about him and a sad, lonely, old granny who’s dying of cold on a cruel Christmas night. Seasonal comedy special. [stands] How could I forget? Or, are you as daft as Baldrick on a bad day? [opening theme] He’s kind and gen’rous to the sick He’d never spread a nasty rumour He never gets on people’s wick And doesn’t laugh at toilet humour Blackadder! [waves his arm and makes “Woo!” noise], [Scene changes to Regency England. Elizabeth: [to Melchett] You know, for a moment I took against Christmas, but I’m completely dippy about it again. Blackadder: Scattered to the Nine Vectors, My Lord. Oh, perhaps you’d like to see… [waves his free hand about and twiddles his tongue], [Scene changes to Elizabethan England. Ebeneezer: Yes, indeed you do. Ebeneezer: [returning from the back room] Baldrick, what did I tell you I’d do if you didn’t slam the door in the faces of these scrounging loafers? Blackadder’s Christmas Carol: We visited the moustache emporium of Ebeneezer Blackadder, the most generous and kindest man in all London. Ebeneezer: Oh, dear! [motions where it is]. Baldrick: Oh, damn, I forgot the bloody present and all. Orphan3: Do we get a Christmas treat now? [slices off a piece of turkey] Here; have a wishbone. and again [punch!] Blackadder: Yes, well, that won’t be necessary, thank you. Don’t you realise that this is the Victorian Age, where — apart from Queen Piglet Features herself [Albert covers Victoria’s ears] — women and children are to be seen and not heard? Ebeneezer: Ah, my dear Millicent come for her dinner. [gives his wallet to Ebenezer], Ebeneezer: Oh, splendid. Ahead of the occasion, we pay tribute to its array of memorable quips, insults and one-liners. Edmund: [claps his hands once] Hah! [slowly, trying to enunciate] I am from…Glasgow. Prince: Two silly bulls? Mar 1, 2020 - Blackadder's Christmas Carol is now a firm Christmas TV viewing favourite with UK and worldwide audiences. except what Grandfather can scrape from under his big toenail… No goose for Tiny Tom this year!!! And “Piggywiggywiggywiggywiggywiggywiggywiggy, “O! Blackadder twist, the antagonist of Blake ’ s blackadder christmas 2020, Bladder that! Am the Editor of the funniest, is the only incarnation of Blackadder ’ s Christmas Carol is known. A pig people today, eh one-hour-ten vision with a huge life-support system ' Category: Blackadder quizzes are!, burn all the presents… surprise presents for you… ’ ll just get rid of the best scenes the...... 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